Jaded {open}

[Reld]

Miss Five
^{The spade impaled into your heart.}

The morning was clam, quiet even. Essie walked slowly along the narrow dirt path next to the river, mostly watching her feet, unintentionally blocking out the rest of the world. Her white flats where becoming dusty with her shuffling, she wasn't bothering to pick up her feet.

Across the river there were a few people walking, some feeding ducks, and some cars were driving by.
Over on her side it quiet. She was blocked from the road by shrubbery, which muffled the traffic a bit. Only if you looked up from across the water, and actually looked closely, would you saw her; a girl in a dull blue dress about the same color as the sad looking sky.
The dress was once a brighter color, with ruffles that stood out starch white. But now the ruffles drooped, and the colors had faded from what she remembered they looked like on her mother. Mother's personality helped it, she lit up everything. she thought. But it was probably how worn it had become since three years past, when Essie had taken the dress from her mother's musty closet and found, surprisingly, it actually fit.
It was a rather fancy dress for her to be wearing out like she was, and it had to have been out of style by almost twenty years (sometime before she was born, when her mother said she had a life), but Essie was just like that.

Today she felt... tired of being bored. It all felt the same.
She could have gone to the park, or a garden, or a museum (they usually let her in, she only got an odd look every once in a while), the library, or a nice little teashop, but none of those appealed to her. Strange, since she could spend her whole day at one of those places, usually.

She could have stayed at her flat, I suppose, but she didn't want to just sit there and smell the mustiness around her. That stale, damp, smell she didn't feel like trying to do something about.

But Essie had always fancied the water. She thought it might make her feel less glum if she could see it sparkle and dance in the sunlight. Unlikely. she had thought.
And was right. The clouds came and hid the sun from view, so the water was dark and slow, nothing special about it today.

She was tired, so she kept walking towards the bridge. She looked out across the water, to her destination; chalky white and gray in color, its three smooth arches reflection wavering on the water's bleak surface.

The girl waited until a long, boxy Cadillac, only a few years old, passed her before walking up the bridge.
She let her fingers slide over the railing as she walked. She didn't look at the other cars that passed her, didn't pay any attention to the world around her. She was staring blankly at the disappointing water.

When she got about mid-way across she stopped. Her palms were warm as she gripped the cold stone, leaning forward. Her hair dropped over the edge of the bridge, as did her necklace, slipping out from her bodice. It swung lightly from around her neck, it's silver glinting dully, looking as if it was reach for that water.
Essie wondered what it would feel like to fall from here. Would it hurt much? Could it kill you? It didn't seem like a long enough fall too her. Her mouth was open, but her face was completely blank.
A thought, Why am I thinking about death? only flickered in her mind for a moment. She blinked at the water, her feet rising from the ground when she leaned herself against the edge.

{OOC:}
Do what you want with this.

_{Not to beat,
Ever again.}
[/right]

[Emily!]

M i k e B e n t s o n

->> a nightmare doesn't end
->> come morning, it lasts &
->> rarley lets you rest peace[/right]

->> "Why do you do these things, boy? You know your ma can't stand them. You shouldn't be here in this house here today" he could hear his father growl like the midnight monsters in Mike's nightmares during his childhood, the night Mick's mother had feel ill with some deadly illness, Mick never remembered the ill which took him from her. He had brusies on his arms, and he had a black eye. Mike only being 11 years old didn't know what to do, his mother had always loved him and cared for him but his father had never wanted to be a father; never wnated to get his mother pregent and be forced to marry her to keep his 'honor' Anger boiled deep inside of him, some honor. He didn't believe his mother and father had love. He believed his mom loved his dad but heck when it came to his dad loving his mom, that was a lie bound to be told.

->> Digging his finger nails deep into his palms he winced at the pain. He had scars on his back, and arms. From the times his dad had been drunk enough to take his so called pain out on him. With his fists, spoons, knifes and whatever else you could think of. And when someone would ask about it, it would just be the same ol' answer "Its punishment. He talk'd back to his ma and now he needs to suffer" he would say and no one could be the wiser. Shrudding with regret he pushed on. He needed to get rid of these memorys, but he had no idea how. If he told someone would that make it better, no. he had moved here to be away from everyone who new him, about his past, his father, everything. He couldn't see the pity again in everyone's eyes. One reason he had become a police officer. But yet he had never told his fellow officers about his past.

->> Coming to the bridge he had first seen when he had rode into town, shrugging off his suite jacket he glanced around, seeing only a woman leaning on the side of the rail.. Wait what was she doing? Picking up his pace alittle he wodnered if she was just getting look at something or if she was going to jump? She better not, there was plenty of things to live for.. he of course couldn't come up with anything but he was sure there was something for her to live for. Ma'am? You alright he asked as he moved towards her slowly. thick black hair falling over his forehead, and his bright blue eyes peering down at her. Standing at 6'2 there wheren't many who where taller then himself.

occ
wasn't sure if she was gonna jump.. or? what XD Now I need to go make Mike.. I just had a awesome RP reply and didn't want to wait till I made him CX Don't do this at home, kids

[Reld]

Miss Five
^{The spade that I am, impaled into your heart.}

She didn't immediately look up when she heard a man's voice close by. There's no reason for anyone to be talking to me. she thought faintly, trying to excuse her lack of manners. Essie leaned farther out over the railing, her knuckles going white with the tightening of her grip. Her heels came loose of her shoes, and the flats started to slip down off her feet. She could hear her heart beating in her ears, feel the pulse as all the blood rushed to get head.
What if I didn't have to live like this anymore? What if it all ended, if I was free of it? What would happen if I hit that water? she squeezed her eyes shut, smiling at... nothing in particular.

Pain coursed through her forehead when she stood up straight, and she took a deep breath, tears pricking at the corner of her eyes. She frowned in confusion at this and wiped harshly at her face.
Essie turned, to find this man standing there, looking at her. He looked pretty young, but she couldn't quite tell his age. He was tall, almost half a foot taller than she was, but she didn't let that intimidate her. She just pursed her lips and looked him in the eye. Big, blue eyes. Concern was spread over his face, and she almost laughed at him.
Am I alright? "Why wouldn't I be?" she asked, raking her hair back out of her eyes. It came out in a horse whisper, in an unintended snappy way. Normally she would have been embarrassed to let herself slip like that, but this didn't feel normal. Not normal at all. Maybe he didn't hear her, though. What does he think I'm... her thought trailed off as she thought about it logically.

She swallowed, trying to get a hold on herself. She didn't really want any attention drawn to herself. She'd come out here to the other side of the city, which she normally didn't roam, to get away from things. She wasn't up to playing the intelligent, witty, girl like every other day.
She needed a break from it once in a while. No one could live in the lie forever. Or else they'd go simply mad. Maybe I am mad.

"Thank you, but... I'm fine..." she murmured, moving her eyes back to the man's face, as her gaze had trailed off back over to the water. Her lips parted to speak again, but she decided against saying any more.
Essie turned away from him, pressing herself against the railing so he could get on his way without difficulty. She closed her eyes and waited for him to walk past.
You think everything's okay. Just go on, mister, you don't want to be involved. Everything's okay. I don't need anyone. Alone. Alone. Everything will be okay.

{OOC:}
I hadn't completely made up my mind about that, either. xD I'm not completely familiar with Essie's personality yet. It's just that the first thing I thought of when I saw this board was suicide.
lol "Don't try this at home!"
And sorry it took me a while to reply. ><

_{Your heart...
Not to beat,
Ever again.}
[/right]